Strap-ons and pegging: harnesses, dildos and strapless models explained

For a first strap-on, most couples do best with an adjustable harness and a separate small silicone dildo with a flared base, or a complete beginner set with a slim dildo. Strapless and double models are a second step for a wearer who wants to feel something too, and vibrating strap-ons suit couples who want extra sensation on both sides. For pegging, the receiving partner sets the size: start with a dildo of around 2.5 to 3 cm wide and go up only when that feels easy.

All models are in our strap-ons section, with more ideas under sets for couples.

What a strap-on is and what pegging means

A strap-on is a dildo worn at the hips, held by a harness or, in strapless models, by a bulb the wearer holds inside. Pegging is the common word for a woman penetrating a man anally with a strap-on, but the same gear works for any couple and for vaginal play. Strap-on harnesses are a different product from body harnesses worn as fetish wear; those are explained in our BDSM harnesses guide.

The best strap-ons by situation

• Best first dildo for pegging: SinsFactory Stylish Small. Liquid silicone with 12.2 cm insertable and a 2.7 cm stem, plus a 5.8 cm suction cup that also fits most harnesses.
• Best next size up: SinsFactory Stylish Medium. The same velvety liquid silicone with 14.5 cm insertable and a 3.3 cm stem.
• Best complete pegging set: Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Pegging Set. Three platinum silicone attachments in three sizes, contoured for the prostate, with harness, suction cup, lube sample and toy cleaner.
• Best simple starter strap-on: Crushious Snapper. A one-hand adjustable harness with a 12.5 cm silicone dildo sized for beginners that snaps off for cleaning.
• Best adjustable O-ring harness: Ouch Universal O-Ring Harness. Adjustable waist and thigh straps and an O-ring that takes a wide range of dildos.
• Best harness for a growing collection: SinsFactory Universal Leather Harness. Three metal rings of 4.1, 4.8 and 5.4 cm, a wide strap that spreads the weight over the hips and a pocket for a bullet vibrator.
• Best fit for every body: Crushious Snap Strap. Waist range 31 to 158 cm and legs 18 to 80 cm, a padded central cushion with a bullet compartment and two silicone rings.
• Best panty style harness: XR Brands Bella. Pulls on like underwear, with velvet lining, broad elastic bands and no buckles.
• Best boxer-brief harness: XR Brands Mod Active XXL. Breathable cotton and spandex with a stretchy built-in O-ring for a waist of 89 to 107 cm, machine washable on cool.
• Best compact hollow strap-on: RealRock Compact Hollow 15.5 cm. A realistic 15.5 cm PVC insert on an adjustable waistband that stays put.
• Best vibrating strap-on: Ouch Vibrating Ribbed Strap-On. Ribbed silicone of 15.5 cm insertable and 3.3 cm wide, 10 speeds, rechargeable and quiet.
• Best strapless for beginners: Ouch Silicone Strapless. A curved 7 cm G-spot bulb for the wearer and a slim ribbed 12 cm end of 2.5 cm wide for the partner.
• Best vibrating strapless: VIVE Suki. Three independent motors: one for the partner and two for clitoris and G-spot of the wearer, waterproof and rechargeable.
• Best double strap-on with remote: XR Brands Double Diva. An outer dildo of 15 cm and an inner dildo of 8.3 cm for the wearer, both vibrating, on a harness for waists up to 122 cm.

Strap-ons compared

Figures are the makers' own.

Harness types

Adjustable strap harness. A waist belt with one or two thigh straps or a centre strap and a ring at the front. It fits the widest range of bodies and takes most dildos with a flared base. Two thigh straps hold the dildo steadier than one centre strap, which helps with control during pegging.

Briefs, boxers and jock style. You step into them like underwear: nothing to adjust and the elastic spreads the weight, but you need the right clothing size.

Fixed sets. Harness and dildo come together. The easiest start, but you are tied to that dildo unless the set uses a system such as Vac-U-Lock.

O-rings and dildo bases

The O-ring is the hole the dildo goes through. The dildo needs a flared base wider than the ring, or it slips through. Measure the shaft just above the base: the ring should fit snugly around it. Harnesses with several rings, such as the SinsFactory with 4.1, 4.8 and 5.4 cm, let you change dildos later.

Strapless, double and hollow strap-ons

Strapless. A curved bulb sits inside the wearer's vagina and holds the toy in place by pelvic floor muscles, with the shaft pointing out. Both partners feel every movement, but it takes some practice to keep it steady. Start with a slim model and lie close together rather than thrusting hard.

Double. A harness with a second, inner dildo for the wearer. The strongest shared feeling, and steadier than strapless.

Hollow. The shaft has a hollow core and sits on a waistband, and it can be combined with other toys.

Choosing the dildo size for pegging

For pegging, the receiving partner decides. Most people start with a smooth or gently curved dildo of 2.5 to 3 cm wide and 12 to 15 cm insertable. A dildo with a light curve angled towards the belly reaches the prostate more easily than a straight one. Size up only when the current one feels relaxed for a whole session. Our anal training and butt plug sizes guide explains how to build up step by step, and anal toys are in butt plugs and dilators.

Comfort for the wearer

• Tighten the straps until the base sits firmly on the pubic bone and does not wobble, but leave room for two fingers under the belt.
• A padded or velvet panel against the body prevents chafing in longer sessions.
• Thrusting comes from the hips, not the back. Kneeling behind a partner on hands and knees or lying face to face with the receiver on their back are good first positions.

Lube, warm-up and consent

Talk beforehand about limits and agree on a stop word or a clear signal. Warm up with massage and fingers first, and let the receiver guide pace and depth. Use plenty of lubricant from lubricants: water-based lube with silicone toys, as silicone-based lube can damage silicone. Reapply often; the anus does not make its own lubrication. Stop at any sharp pain. Use a condom over the dildo when switching between anal and vaginal play, or wash it first. Our BDSM gear for beginners guide has more on talking about limits.

Cleaning and care

• Silicone dildos: wash with warm water and mild soap or a cleaner from toy cleaners, rinse and air dry.
• PVC and TPR: wash with lukewarm water and mild soap, dry well and store separately from other toys.
• Leather harnesses: wipe with a damp cloth, dry away from heat and treat with leather conditioner now and then.
• Neoprene, nylon and fabric: hand wash in lukewarm water, or machine wash on cool where the maker says so.
• Vibrating models: keep the charging port dry, and remove bullets before washing a harness.

Frequently asked questions