Bondage kits for couples: what is inside and how to start

For a first bondage night, most couples do best with a small kit of cuffs, a blindfold and one soft or light impact toy, such as the Ouch Introductory Kit or a velvet and feather set. If you already know you like being held down on the bed, choose a kit with an under-the-mattress or bedpost restraint system. Larger eight to eleven piece sets with a gag, collar and vibrator suit couples who want everything in one box.

All kits are in our bondage kits section.

What is inside a bondage kit

A bondage set bundles pieces that work together, so you do not have to match sizes, colours and clips yourself. Most kits combine three or four of these kinds of play:

• Restraint: wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, sometimes rope, connecting chains or a hogtie connector.
• Sight deprivation: a satin or lace blindfold, which makes every touch harder to predict.
• Teasing: a feather tickler, dice that choose what happens next, wax candles in some romantic sets.
• Impact: a flogger, paddle or whip, for light strokes that you build up slowly.
• Power exchange: a collar with leash, and in larger kits a ball gag.
• Vibration: a bullet vibrator or a vibrating cock ring in the sets made for couples.
• Anchoring: straps under the mattress, bedpost extensions or an over-the-door system that gives cuffs a fixed point.

A kit is cheaper and easier than buying each piece on its own. Single pieces are better once you know exactly what you like.

The best bondage kits for couples by situation

Small starter kits

• Best first kit: Ouch Introductory Bondage Kit, black. Three pieces only: fur-lined metal wrist cuffs, a satin eye mask and a flogger, with no rope to learn.
• Best soft and teasing kit: Ouch Introductory Kit Two, black. Adjustable velvet cuffs, a feather tickler, a satin mask and dice, for slow sensation play.
• Best with quick release: Crushious Lover's Dream Bondage Kit. A satin blindfold, two feather ticklers and furry handcuffs with a quick-release fastening, so either of you can be free in a moment.
• Best romantic kit: Ouch Honeymoon Bondage Kit. Padded satin cuffs on four adjustable tethers, a feather tickler, a satin mask and two wax candles for gentle temperature play.

Bed and door restraint systems

• Best under-bed restraint: Ouch Four-Cuff Mattress Restraint System. Four neoprene-lined cuffs on nylon tethers that run under the mattress, so it works on almost any bed without a headboard or frame posts.
• Best for a bed with posts: Ouch Bed Post Bindings Restraint Kit. Four bedpost extensions with two wrist and two ankle restraints, plus a flogger, a satin mask and dice.
• Best without a bed: Ouch Adjustable Over-Door Restraint System. An X-shaped strap system that hangs over a door without drilling, with D-rings along the straps where you clip on the cuffs from your kit.

Complete sets

• Best complete set with vibrator: Ouch Paris Collection Bondage Kit. Eight pieces in a pink handbag: collar with leash, handcuffs, ankle cuffs, blindfold, breathable ball gag, flogger, under-the-mattress restraint and a rechargeable vibrating bullet.
• Best for vibration together: Doc Johnson VIP Room 11 Piece Set. A 10-speed silicone vibrator, a 32 mm vibrating cock ring with bullet, nipple clamps, two satin straps, a satin paddle, blindfold, silicone ball gag and feather.
• Best faux leather set: Crushious Punisher Bondage Kit. Black faux leather with metal buckles: wrist and ankle cuffs, rope, a collar with removable leash, breathable ball gag, whip and blindfold.
• Best for clear sizes: XR Brands Bold Print Seven-Piece Set. Vegan faux leather with D-rings on every piece except the mask; wrist cuffs fit 17 to 29 cm, ankle cuffs 18 to 33 cm and the collar 32 to 43 cm.
• Best next step with rope: Ouch Intermediate Bondage Set, 9 Pieces. Fur-lined wrist and ankle cuffs, 10 metres of Japanese silk rope, a hogtie connector, nipple clamps, collar with leash, breathable ball gag, blindfold, flogger and feather.

Bondage kits compared

Soft, faux leather or metal

• Soft (velvet, satin, faux fur, lace): gentle on the skin and easy to slip out of, which is exactly right for a first try.
• Faux leather and leather: buckles and D-rings hold better and let you connect cuffs to each other, to a collar or to a bed restraint. Most kits use PU or vegan leather.
• Metal: handcuffs in kits are usually lined with faux fur so the edges do not press into the wrists. Metal does not give when someone pulls, so never let anyone hang their weight on it.

Want separate cuffs instead? Our handcuffs and restraints guide compares fur, leather, metal and under-bed restraints, and the cuffs and restraints section has single pieces.

Your first session: a simple plan

• Talk first, with clothes on. Say what you want to try, what you do not want and what is a maybe.
• Agree on signals. Use the traffic light: green means go on, yellow means slow down or check in, red means stop now and undo everything. With a gag in, add a signal without words: drop a ball or keys you hold, or hum three times.
• Start with cuffs and a blindfold only. Cuffs in front of the body, a finger's width of room under each one, and a few minutes of teasing with the feather.
• Add one thing at a time. Light flogger strokes on fleshy areas such as the buttocks and thighs, the bed restraint, or the vibrator. Leave the gag and collar for a later night.
• Keep checking. Look at hands and feet for tingling, cold or a colour change, and never leave a restrained or gagged partner alone, not even briefly.
• Aftercare. Undo the cuffs slowly, offer water and a blanket, and talk about what you liked.

For the wax candles in a romantic kit, test a drop on your own forearm first and let it fall from a height. A hogtie or the over-door system puts more strain on the body: keep those positions short and only use a door that is solid and closed.

Quick release and safety scissors

Choose cuffs with quick release where you can, keep any keys next to the bed and not in a drawer, and keep a pair of rounded-tip safety scissors within reach. They cut rope, tape or fabric close to the skin when a knot pulls too tight. The rope and tape section has more if you want to tie as well; start with our rope bondage and shibari guide.

Matching lube and accessories

Kits with a bullet or vibrator need a water-based lube such as Pjur Toy Glide, which suits silicone and other toy materials. More choice is in lubricants. If you want a better blindfold than the one in your kit, look at blindfolds.

Cleaning per material

• Satin, velvet and lace: hand wash in lukewarm water with mild soap and let them dry flat.
• Faux fur linings: spot clean with a damp cloth, do not soak the metal cuff underneath, and let it air dry.
• PU and vegan leather: wipe with a damp cloth and mild soap, dry, and store out of direct sunlight.
• Metal: wipe, dry well and check locks and chains before every session.
• Silicone gags, vibrators and clamps: wash with warm water and a toy cleaner, dry, and charge rechargeable toys after use.
• Feathers: shake out and keep them dry, never wash them.

Related guides

Read BDSM gear for beginners first. Looking for a present for your partner? Our kinky Christmas gifts guide lists bondage sets by budget.

Frequently asked questions