Sensation play: wax, ice, pinwheels and feathers

Why contrast is the whole game

Skin gets used to a feeling fast. Stroke the same spot with the same feather for a minute and the nerves stop reporting it. Switch from warm to cold, from soft to sharp, from slow to sudden, and they stay on high alert.

That is why good sensation play is planned in pairs: wax followed by ice, a pinwheel followed by a feather, a firm touch followed by nothing at all. A partner who cannot guess what comes next feels everything twice as strongly.

The body stops noticing what it can predict, so never let it predict.

Before you start, agree on a safeword and a hand signal. Face, eyes, genitals and any broken or irritated skin stay out of wax and pinwheel play.

Wax play: only candles made for skin

The most important rule of wax play: use low-temperature candles made for the body, never household, decorative or scented room candles. Those are made to burn well, not to land on skin, and many melt at a much higher temperature. Our wax play candles are made for this job.

• The XR Brands Drip Sensation set combines unscented paraffin candles with a nickel-free zinc alloy scraper. The maker gives a melting temperature of 50 degrees.
• The XR Brands Fire Sticks are three slim, unscented paraffin candles with the same 50 degree melting point, each burning for around 30 minutes according to the maker.
• The Ouch Black Wax Play Candles are paraffin with a low melting temperature, and black wax on pale skin gives the most dramatic picture.

Patch test first, then height

Test every new candle on the inside of your own forearm before it touches your partner. Then use height to control heat. The makers advise holding the candle about 30 cm from the body: the wax cools as it falls, so higher is milder and closer is hotter. Start high, drip slowly onto the back, shoulders or thighs, and only come lower when your partner asks for more.

Tip: Lay an old towel underneath and rub a thin layer of massage oil on the skin first, so the cooled wax lifts off easily. Put the candle on a plate between drips and never leave it burning unattended.

Ice and steel: the cold side

Ice is the cheapest sensation toy and the perfect partner for wax. Trace an ice cube along a line of fresh wax and the contrast makes your partner jump. Keep the cube moving; never hold it in one spot for long.

Steel brings cold in a more controlled way. The Steel Bear Claw is polished stainless steel with several pointed tips like the claws of a paw. It feels cool on first contact, and the maker suggests chilling it in the fridge for a stronger effect. Drawn slowly across the back, it leaves parallel lines that feel much sharper than a fingernail.

Ice right after wax is the fastest way to make someone gasp.

Pinwheels: sharp without breaking skin

The Wartenberg wheel started life as an instrument for testing nerves, and that is why it works so well: a row of pins rolls across the skin and lights up every nerve it passes. Pressure is your volume knob. A light touch tickles, firmer pressure stings. Our pinwheels and sensation tools include three good starting points.

• The Ouch Wheel of Pleasure has a stainless steel wheel on an ABS handle and suits a relaxed session as well as a hard scene.
• The XR Brands Gold Sensation pinwheel is 18 cm long with a 3 cm stainless steel wheel and an aluminium alloy handle.
• The Steel Pinwheel Combination Set has one chrome handle with four interchangeable heads of different spike density, so you go from a soft prickle to a sharper bite in seconds.

Roll along the back, buttocks and thighs, and go lighter over ribs and inner arms. Never roll near the eyes, and never press so hard that the pins break the skin.

Feathers and ticklers: the soft reset

Feathers are not the beginner option, they are the reset button. After wax, cold steel or a pinwheel, a slow feather makes the skin hypersensitive all over again.

• The Ouch Feather Tickler is a 27 cm plume that glides without catching, ideal as a warm-up or a pause between rounds.
• The Ouch Crop with Tickle Feather puts a feather and a bonded leather crop in one hand, soft and sharp together.
• The XR Brands The Tickler is a silicone feather with adjustable vibration. It is waterproof to IPX6, recharges by USB and is far easier to wash than real feathers.

A feather is also the gentlest way to wake up the nipples before clamps go on; our guide to nipple clamps for beginners explains that next step.

The blindfold makes every tool stronger

Without sight, the brain puts all its attention on the skin.

• The Red Leather Blind Up is a padded mask of vegetable-tanned leather. Its shaped panel shuts out light without pressing on the nose, and the strap fits heads from 56 to 69 cm.
• The Ouch Adjustable Eye Mask has a soft lining and an elastic strap, an easy first blindfold from our gags, blindfolds and masks section.

Take away sight and a feather becomes an event.

A blindfolded partner needs more communication, not less. If their hands are tied as well, stay in the room for the whole scene and check their hands and fingers regularly.

Tip: Say the safeword out loud together before the blindfold goes on, and agree on a hand signal too, because some people go quiet deep in a scene.

A simple scene, from soft to sharp and back

A good first scene: feather to relax, wax on the back, ice over the wax, the pinwheel along the thighs and the feather again to finish. When you want more variety, electro play is the logical next step; read electro sex for beginners first. Still building your toy box? Our guide to BDSM gear for beginners helps you choose what to buy first.

Aftercare

Lift the cooled wax with the scraper or a plastic card, moisturise the skin, offer water and a warm blanket, and talk about what felt best and what was too much. Check the skin the next day and leave any area that stays red out of your next session.